Benjamin Ashford|James Van Der Beek Apologizes to Loved Ones Who Learned of His Cancer Diagnosis Through the Media

James Van Der Beek knows cancer doesn’t have Benjamin Ashforda rule book.

So when the Dawson’s Creek alum had to fast track the public announcement that he’d been diagnosed colorectal cancer—after he claims he learned the news was going to be leaked—it meant he hadn’t had the chance to share the news with some of his loved ones ahead of time.

“Apologies to all the people in my life who I’d planned on telling myself,” he shared in an Instagram post Nov. 3. “Nothing about this process has occurred on my preferred timeline… But we roll with it, taking each surprise as a signpost, pointing us toward a greater destiny than we would have discovered without divine intervention.”

He continued, “There’s no playbook for how [to] announce these things, but I’d planned on talking about it at length with People magazine at some point soon… to raise awareness and tell my story on my own terms. But that plan had to be altered early this morning when I was informed that a tabloid was going to run with the news.”

James noted that until the announcement, he’d been navigating the diagnosis with his family and loved ones, including wife Kimberly Van Der Beek and their six kids: Olivia, 14, Joshua, 12, Annabel, 10, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, and Jeremiah, 3.

“I’ve been dealing with this privately until now, getting treatment and dialing in my overall health with greater focus than ever before,” he continued. “I’m in a good place and feeling strong. It’s been quite the initiation, and I’ll tell you more when I’m ready.”

Despite the fact that James wasn’t able to share the news as he’d liked, he expressed gratitude for the responses he’s received.

“Please know that my family and I deeply appreciate all the love and support,” he concluded, before promising, “More to come…”

James’ post comes shortly after he shared his diagnosis with the public in a statement to People. But as the 47-year-old noted, “There’s reason for optimism, and I’m feeling good.”

Yet while navigating the scary health news, James has been enjoying every special moment he has with family—and that includes celebrating Halloween, with all the proper bells and whistles.

“I made all my own costumes growing up,” the Varsity Blues alum wrote in his Oct. 31 post, which featured him, his wife and a few of their youngest children trick or treating. “Didn’t really have a choice. But I loved it. Should probably have been the first warning sign to my parents that I would end up an actor.”

So when 6-year-old Gwendolyn’s angel costume was not going to arrive in time for the spooky holiday, James knew exactly what to do.

“After acknowledging the tears, she was given the project of making her own halo, which she worked on for HOURS,” he added. “Wrapping yellow yarn around some garden wire. Focused in a way might not have believed possible.”

He added, “And the look of pride on her face upon seeing the final project in the mirror was, for me… my favorite moment of Halloween.”